Fact or Fiction: You Decide

Introducing Colin-

Colin (a.k.a. ColCol, Coli, Brandon) is my domestic, man partner. He had me from first wink; it must have been his gorgeous, blond eye lashes.  He has been hanging around with the Melillo tribe for quite some time now. I guess one might say that our relationship began rather organically.

Fact or Fiction? You Decide.

One lackluster evening, Colin and I returned to my house with the intent to spend a little quality time with my old man. In true Dad fashion, the living room had been rearranged and my large, sectional couch now divided the living room from the dining room. Perhaps I should have prefaced this entire post with the fact that whenever we plan on spending any significant amount of time with Dad, we always prepare ourselves for the unexpected. If you have spent even a few minutes with my Dad, you probably understand why. As I mentioned in his introduction, he is a man of questionable humor.

Colin and I seated ourselves on the portion of the couch that was now acting as a room divider, while my Dad lounged comfortably on the other leg of the couch.  Upon settling in, we noticed that the movie “Taken” was playing on TV. Just a brief history about the movie in case you haven’t seen it (it will all make sense soon); This is a movie about a girl that is kidnapped and her father is a retired secret agent of some kind. He sets out on a mission to bring his little sweetie home. There is lots of action and a good amount of fighting, particularly with guns. Back to the scene though…

So here we are sitting on the couch watching the movie with my Dad when I realize a couple of things...

1. My Dad is wearing women’s sweat pants. You know, the more fashionable kind with the scrunchy bottom so you can keep them up on your calf (or under your knee) and show a little leg??? All I can do is laugh a little and sigh.

2. He is still as annoying as possible, evidenced by him holding a wooden hand back-scratcher that he keeps whipping me with.

3. In his other hand, he is holding a hand gun.

Now the first two things I mentioned (sweatpants and back-scratcher whippings) are things I have come to accept having been around my Dad for some 24 years now. But the handgun… Why oh why could he possibly feel the need to unlock and handle a handgun with such gusto? Apparently, in order to add a little spice to the experience of watching “Taken”, my Dad was play-firing along with the gun fight scenes as he quoted some memorable lines. Unsure as to the exact status of the gun, Colin threw me over the back of the couch and we crawled into the kitchen where for the time being we removed ourselves from any clear and present danger.

We went upstairs and I have not attempted to spend any additional quality time with my Dad since. While I have not re-encountered the handgun, the women's sweat pants (and even some women’s running shorts) have made several reappearances.

Could this story possibly be true? I’ll let you decide for yourself.